His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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