I wish I only lived at night.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
