Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
