I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
