So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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