woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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