remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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