Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
