Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She told me I should be a condom model.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
