Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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