There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
