She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
