I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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