I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
