dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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