You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
