Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize