you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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