Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
