I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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