People with herpes should wear stickers.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
