I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
