I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Vodka?
Forever.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
