You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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