she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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