tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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