My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
