omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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