Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
where am i from again
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
