I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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