i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
