Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
