I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
