on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
