respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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