so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
