at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Who died my cat blue again?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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