i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
