I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
