Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
