You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
