What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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