PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
