Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
