So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
