farters have to be the big spoon...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
