i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
