Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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