he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
