I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
