no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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