bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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