I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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